Picky Eating in Toddlers: A Speech Therapist’s Guide to What’s Typical & When to Get Support

By Gina Schumann, MA, CCC-SLP

As a speech-language pathologist who specializes in pediatric feeding therapy and a mom of two, I can confidently say that picky eating in toddlers is one of the most perplexing and frustrating parts of raising young children. One moment, your one-year-old is happily devouring whatever you put in front of them. Then, seemingly overnight, your now two-year-old greets every meal with a firm and dramatic “No!” It’s enough to make any parent feel defeated and exhausted.

The good news? For many children, picky eating is developmentally normal. Below are evidence-based strategies that truly help as well as some guidance on when picky eating may benefit from professional support.

Why Picky Eating Is Developmentally Normal in Toddlers

From birth to around age two, children grow at a rapid rate. Their bodies and brains are developing so quickly that we often notice changes from one week to the next. Babies typically triple their birth weight by one year and quadruple it by age two. That growth requires a tremendous amount of calories and nutrition.

Around age two, growth naturally slows, and appetite often slows with it. A toddler who once ate everything placed on their high chair tray may suddenly seem uninterested in foods they previously loved. This shift is biological, not behavioral, and understanding this can significantly reduce stress at the dinner table.

How Family Meals Support Toddler Feeding Development

Sitting down to eat together may sound simple, but busy schedules can make it challenging. Whenever possible, aim for family meals where phones and devices are put away and everyone eats in a consistent place.

When children share meals with caregivers, they benefit from:

• Predictable routines

• Social interaction

• Exposure to a variety of foods

Family meals shift the focus away from “how many bites were eaten” and toward connection and communication, both of which support healthy feeding development.

Why Modeling and Repeated Exposure Help Picky Eaters

Toddlers learn what foods are “safe” by watching the people they trust most: you. Even if your child has never taken a bite of broccoli, having it consistently on their plate and watching others enjoy it is important exposure that goes a long way.

Low-pressure exposure helps children:

• Build familiarity

• Reduce anxiety around new foods

• Increase willingness to taste over time

  
  

Comment casually on taste, texture, or preparation without expectation. Avoid forcing bites. Consistent exposure and modeling are far more effective than pressure.

Giving Toddlers Control During Mealtimes

Two- and three-year-olds are discovering independence, and food is one of the few areas they can fully control. Food refusal is often a way of asserting autonomy, not misbehavior.

A helpful guiding principle used in feeding therapy is:

“The parent decides what, when, and where food is served.The child decides if and how much they eat.”

Using this structure:

• Reduces power struggles

• Supports internal hunger cues

• Creates calmer, more predictable meals

Getting Kids Involved in the Kitchen Builds Confidence With Food

Children are far more likely to explore foods they’ve helped prepare. Age-appropriate kitchen tasks like rinsing vegetables, stirring, or chopping soft foods with kid-safe knives build confidence and curiosity.

These experiences:

• Increase comfort with food

• Reduce fear of new textures

• Encourage tasting

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When kids help make the meal, they’re often more willing to interact with it.

Why Playing With Food Supports Feeding Skills

While messes can be hard, research shows that sensory exploration is an important step toward consistent eating. Activities like stacking blueberries or drawing with applesauce allow children to experience food without pressure.

Through play, children learn about:

• Smell

• Texture

• Temperature

• Cause and effect

These sensory experiences reduce the “unknown” and support eventual acceptance and enjoyment of foods.

When Picky Eating May Benefit From Feeding Therapy

While picky eating is often typical, there are times when additional support is helpful. Consider talking to your pediatrician or consulting a speech-language pathologist or occupational therapist trained in feeding therapy if your child:

• Refuses entire textures or food groups

• Gags, coughs, or vomits during meals

• Has highly stressful or emotional mealtimes

• Is not gaining weight or growing as expected

Pediatric feeding therapy can address oral-motor skills, sensory responses, and mealtime dynamics to help children eat more safely and confidently.

A Final Word of Encouragement

Picky eating tests the patience of even the most seasoned parents. But remember: it’s a developmental phase, not a reflection of your parenting. By offering variety, modeling healthy habits, keeping mealtimes low-pressure, and giving your child age-appropriate control, you’re building a foundation of trust.

Some meals will feel like victories. Others may feel like negotiations with a tiny food critic.Both are normal...and you’re doing a great job.

Looking for Feeding Therapy Support?

If you’re searching for feeding therapy for picky eaters in Columbus, Ohio or surrounding areas, I’d love to help. Email hello@smalltalkst.com or call (614)-602-1831 for a complimentary in-home consultation.