Picky Eating: What’s Typical, What’s Tricky, and What Actually Helps

This article was originally published in the February, 2026 edition of "Today's Family Magazine." To view the original article, click here: https://www.todaysfamilymagazine.com/2026/01/26/561543/picky-eaters

Now that the holidays are over and lots of us are attempting to return to “normal” meals (instead of travel snacks, cookies and party food), your child’s picky eating might be standing out even more.  If you’re wondering how your child is able to subsist on three goldfish crackers and an applesauce pouch or if you’ve noticed only two bites have been taken from the meal you spent hours preparing, you’re in good company.

As a speech pathologist who specializes in feeding and a mom of two, I can confidently say that picky eating is one of the most perplexing and frustrating parts of raising young children. One moment, your one-year-old is happily devouring whatever you put in front of them. Then, seemingly overnight, your now-two-year-old is suddenly greeting every meal with a firm and dramatic “No!” It’s enough to make any parent feel defeated and exhausted.

The good news? This phase is incredibly common and for the most part, developmentally normal.  Here are some tips and strategies to help you navigate picky eating with confidence.

Remember: There’s a Reason Behind the Refusal

From birth to around age two, children grow at a rapid rate. Their bodies and brains are developing so fast that sometimes we look at pictures from just two weeks ago and notice physical changes.  Babies triple their birth weight by one year of age and quadruple it by 2 years.  All of this growth and development requires tons of calories and nutrition.

Around the age of two, that rapid growth naturally begins to slow, so it makes sense that appetites slow down too.  A toddler who once ate everything that was put on their high chair tray may suddenly seem uninterested in foods they previously loved. This shift is biological, not behavioral, and that simple understanding that can ease a lot of frustration at the dinner table.

As Often as You Can, Sit Down and Eat Together

This strategy sounds simple, but busy family life with hectic schedules can make it challenging to consistently pull off. That’s okay, but whenever possible, make attempts to come together for family meals where phones and devices are put away.  Have a designated place in the house for mealtimes and try to be consistent with timing of meals.  When kids have opportunities to connect with family members while sharing in back and forth exchanges, the meal becomes less about how many bites must be taken and more about family bonding and connection.

Modeling and Exposure Matter More Than You Think

Toddlers learn what’s “safe” and acceptable by watching the people they trust most: you!  Even if your child has never taken a single bite of broccoli, simply having it on the plate regularly and having familiar people around the table enjoying it can have an impact. Comment on the way things taste or the differences in the way food was prepared as you eat it without expectation.  Consistent, low-pressure exposure builds familiarity, which can eventually lead to trying and eventually liking.  Continue modeling and exposing your child to foods that they say they don’t like without forcing.

Give Kids Age-Appropriate Control

Two and three-year-olds are discovering autonomy. One of the very few things they have control over at this age is what they choose to put in their mouth. So it’s no surprise that toddlers often assert themselves through food refusal.

One of my favorite guiding principles is:

“The parent decides what, when, and where food is served.The child decides if and how much they eat.”

This structure gives you as the parent the power to provide nutritious variety while allowing your child to listen to their internal cues. It keeps mealtimes calmer, more predictable, and less stressful for everyone. 

Another way to help a child feel a bit more in control is to simply load a utensil for them and leave it on their plate.  This way, the food is loaded and ready to go but the child feels in control of when they put it in their mouths. 

Get Kids Involved in the Kitchen

Children are naturally curious, and they are much more likely to try foods they’ve helped prepare.

In my own home, kid-safe kitchen knives have been a game changer. Toddlers and preschoolers can chop soft fruits, rinse vegetables, sprinkle seasonings, or stir ingredients. These small jobs build confidence and give kids a sense of ownership over what ends up on their plate.  And when they help make it, they’re often more willing to taste it.

Let Them Play With Their Food

Let me be the first to admit that this one can be tough, especially for parents like me who don’t love dealing with messes. But research shows that the more opportunities a child has to interact with food, like “drawing” with applesauce on a tray or stacking blueberries, the more comfortable they become with it. These playful moments provide valuable sensory experiences: smelling, touching, squishing, and exploring the food without pressure. All of this helps their brains build familiarity and reduces the “unknown,” making them much more likely to eventually eat and enjoy the food.

A Final Word of Encouragement

Picky eating tests the patience of even the most seasoned parents. But remember: it’s a developmental phase, not a reflection of your parenting. By offering variety, keeping mealtimes low-pressure, modeling good habits, and giving your child age-appropriate control, you're building a foundation of trust, and that matters far more than how many bites they take.

Some meals will feel like victories. Others will feel like negotiations with a tiny food critic.Both are normal. You’re doing a great job!

Gina Schumann, MA-CCC/SLP is a licensed pediatric speech-language pathologist. She is the founder of Small Talk Speech Therapy, LLC, specializing in customized in-home speech therapy for children.